2011年9月3日 星期六


I'm really a stupid one that I know you don't care, but I still care.
I care you through some ways that I never would do.
I care more than you thought.
Why can't I just let it go totally?
Why am I that stupid that waiting for you?
Why don't I just wake up and accept everything?
I should have just kept it in my mind that if you're mine, you'll be back,
But I escape; I'm afraid to accept the truth.
Nothing is for me to scare of but this does.
Never would I avoid fear from anything except this.
Nothing else makes myself lost, but this did.
Nothing else makes me unhappy, but this does too.
Can someone helps me to take you out of my mind?
There's no one, but time.
Time flies, everything goes well for you.
Only accept, your life only can goes on happily.
Be back the happiest April whom everyone knows =)

2011年8月29日 星期一

You never know

You never know,
I miss still.

You never know,
I care still.

You never know,
Finally I cried out. In love relationship, I, April always is a failure. Never good at this. Never ever improve. Always be fool in this.

You never know,
I know that we can't be together. But I will keep my promise on. Always. Until the day you get what you want.

You never know,
You are the one who gave me up, not me.

You never know,
I felt guilty that if i really hurt you but it wasn't meant by me.

You never know,
This is what we called fate that even I didn't say anything, you took it as that way. This, you gave it up, NoT M3. This will be your lost but it's fate. I'll accept it.

And, You never know,
I trust myself that I definitely can stand back and get myself back who is happy always to everyone =)

Elissa, you're right that I am definitely hurt now. But this is just temporary feeling that comes across my life. It's a challenge.

You never know,
That is something can't be changed but I'll try. Try everything with my true heart.

You never know,
I'll do what I promise, be here for you always as a good friend whenever you need me.

You never know,
If there's really a truly love from you to me, I believe that it will be back to me no matter how hard I push it away.

2011年4月6日 星期三

Campus Life

I've just started my campus life in Taylor's lakeside University, doing Diploma in Communication. Feeling a bit frustrated of the schedule, not able to get slightly more time to get rest or relaxed. It starts too early for the morning classes, and more, what makes me feel annoying is the TRAFFIC !!!!!Get up in the very morning and drive to school for an hour!What's more, it takes a lot far journey to home, like going to Ipoh. This is really insance! What I'm concerned about doing the right course. I hope I did. Going around is always far better than staying at stupid compter in office for me. Anyway, I trust myself. I will do everything well and enjoy the campus life. I'm glad that everyone speaks English there which I like so much and the facilities are really terrific. I guess I did a good decision to study at Taylor's even though I was alone to there. Well, definitely I will be rushing all the time for classes or studies, no longer spending more time fooling around with "sisters". Unexpectedly, I will make a new blog for my studies, it sounds a bit nonsense but i still have to. Hmm, and.. the thing I like for this course is I will be facing a lot of public speakings or so which I'm afraid, it's challenging.But, I lost my favourite subject- Maths.Sigh.I'm thinking it over if I should do this subject. Overall, I will try my best to do well and enjoy it !

2011年1月18日 星期二

I definitely love it

I now kind of found myself back, but not...
I have been quite long time didn't write anything on my blogspot, but I do not know what should write about.
Sigh, New year is coming very soon ,my birthday as well xD
>< Oh no. I'm getting older, but fortuantely I look younger that I really am.
I have a lot of things to get it done but it seems don't have that much time for me to complete them. Somemore, am going to Uni ,going to be a far busier than now. It probably makes me more tired than now. But, I'm pleased that I could do whatever I want to even if it makes me exhausted. Hmm, I think I'm probably crazy with English >< all the English paper is stuck on my wall. That's the only thing people would be suprising of that once enter my messy room. And, recently I found that I have become slightly happier that I was, felt like staying at home ,looking at my English papers better.Due to my heart of loving English that people usually don't have, I keep studying English as much as I could especially in pronunciation and it makes me become more confident and happier if I am depressed or frustrated with something else. So far, there's only one thing makes me think or worry all the time is my English proficency, my pronunciation, the ascent that I want- luckily I get a New Zealand English teacher, Mary. She's really amazing. I absolutely love her ascent. I'm trying hard to do as she does. In Malaysia, I still can't find someone who is very good or incredicble at English, so that I could learn from him/her. I'm waiting !!! I wish he or she would show up soon.

2010年12月28日 星期二


I know what i should do.

2010年9月10日 星期五

My feeling

I'm tired,
I'm unhappy,
I'm depressed,
I've been ignored,
I'm alone.

I'm still thinking about him. T_T

2010年7月24日 星期六

My First day/ My Birthday

I received an unique suprise when I was eighteen year olds. It was A perfect, impressive, wonderful day for me. It was also one of the most memorable days of my life. That day was my birthday. This was the only flabbergasting birthday that I have ever had since I grew up. I realized that how close actually my friends with me.

That day was the first day in ELS, I started my first lesson , level which was 102. I was nervous as a cat with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs. I didn't have anyone to accompany to study at ther. However, the teacher who taught me was an English person, from Canada, Hannah. She was my reading and writing teacher. She was a gregious,friendly teacher , she always be patient while teaching and even more sometimes my classmates would ask for extra help, but she never got annoyed of that. I felt like a limp dishrag due to my study hours , it was too long for me or even others and I have to get up in the early morning to go to school.

When the class over , I was about to return home, walking like an old woman, alone. Once I was walking , I ran across one of my friends who I knew her for a long time. This was what I thought ''What a coincendence.'' Actually it was not, she came here on purpose, for me, to celebrate my birthday. I was shocked and suprised because I had forgotten all about it, I didn't even know that it was my birthday. I was glad and could not explain the feeling I was having at the moment. My mind was kind of blank like a silly child, I opened my mouth big enough that could even insert a glass into it.

It was about seven something o'clock, I just returned home. I took off my jacket and left my bad aside, and my empty bottle, jumped in to my bed as my Mom realised that I hadn't taken my shower yet. When I was about to sleep, a shouting voice which came fromdownstairs. " Go take your shower before I take action on you! " my Mom yelled to me while chopping the meat. I groaned, and stood on tip-toe and peered to the bathroom and closed the door as slowly , quietly as I could without letting her knew. As soon as I took my shower, I heard some crazy voices from downstairs. I was disgruntled that my plan was spoilt. I went downstairs to check it out. While heading down to the lobby, it seemed murky that I could see my fingers. While I was walking, the lights turned on abruptly and I was startled, all my friends were there with their smiles like angles welcome the queen coming. At the moment, i only knew that it was my birthday party and my eyes were weeping. It aws such a touching moment. While I was standing , glancing at them and my family, they sang the birthday song to me. I cried with my uncontrolled feeling of the happiness. I was really suprised.

During the party, I only realised how close I am with my friends and family, even tough we didn't keep in touch all the time due to works and studies. I didn't notice how my mom loved me, she kissed my forehead and said happy birthday to me till this day.
I was so greatful to them and said thanks to everyone while crying, rubbing off my tears. I knew that friends don't have to keep in touch all the time, and it didn't mean that forgot all about you, that is what friends are.