???

I'm weird in the morning today while I woke up,
Ready going to work..
That feeling which I broke up on the first day is with me in this moment.
Feeling wanna cry it out..
Don't know why.
Until I reached office which place I'm working,
That feeling didn't disappear in my heart.
I'm down, moody... I felt pain.
Have no mood to do anything.
Even I didn't talk with my colleage,
I keep on staring...
And I gonna stop this job,
going to study soon..
I don't know how to start a conversation with my boss that telling him I gonna study.
Until the time to have lunch..
I don't say a word while I'm inside the car.
My tears gonna drop while I inside the car,
staring...
We have our lunch at Nando's
After had my lunch, that feeling was evaporated.
Hahhaahahahaa.( I'm happy in the moment when we having our lunch ^^)
No more moody.
Really 'Sot' am I.
Well..
Hope everything gonna be alright.

What to do? That's me.

Bout two months that I didn't update my blogspot.
What should I post at here?
Tell bout my life? my thinking? or the suffer which I'm facing?
Well... Two months passed.
I'm still working in ING
I... keep working ...
Non-stop...
What it for?
I don't know?
Someone said that I'm going insance of money or working...
I thought is caused by money...
What I need is or was money...
That's we always said no money = no life.
I desire to study...study...
But I can't..
I didn't have enough money to study,
To do what I want to do.
I gonna work more job to get that i want.
Why they can? Why can't I?
Why always I thinking much? For?
Why don't I just do it?

Inferior? Yes.
Why inferior?!
Why I can't change it?
Is it my demand to myself was too....
Is it I've make a great decision to myself?
Who else can tell me what I gonna to do on next?
Anyone will favour with my decision that I made?
Everyone will ask... where you're studying? which courses?
My answer will always be nope. I'm working.
That respond which always I got is WHY!
Give it a rest, please.
I'm tired.
Definitely tiring am I.
I always thinking why I different compare with my frenz or acquaintance.
Its authentic.
Why I'm always look vulnerable to people?
I'm always miserable.
I thought too much literally.
@@$#&%^&&(*)%#$$#^&()_))^#!##%%&^&%^

Anyway.
Its will work out for me.
Lucky always with me.
I trust myself.
Nothing is difficult for me.
I can do it.
I will prove it.

Cause I'm stubborn!

有人说我很固执。
因为固执所以才把自己如此的辛苦。
为何要让自己过得如此呢？
虽然他是你所爱过的人，
可是那已经过去了，
也成了回忆。
无论哪是否是好或坏，
值不值得，
都不重要了。（但我不会忘记）
重要的现在。
因为我的固执，
一直把我自己停留在原地。
因为你的一句话点醒了我，谢谢。

我要过回我自己的生活，
没有你的生活~
我要努力的过我的生活。
我要加油！
至少还有你（朋友们）XD

Think Fondly Of

I thought everything be fine.
Thought everything work out for me.
Totally not.

A piece of missing you in my heart had never changed.
Madly of missing you.
I'm read your blog just now.
What you wrote on there.
All is hurt to me even you didnt know I read your blog.
My tears dropped instantly.
It is awkward to forget you.
I'd realize did something in foolish way to you.
Self- accusation of you.
No happiness with me.
I'm sorry.
How failure am i. Alsoran?
I cried.

I'm back?

Hmm.. nothing can update my blog..
I felt better this few days...
No moody recently.
And..
my appetite become good,
Eat , eat and eat..
Thanks to my frends/confidant who convince me.
Without your support I still in ruin maybe.

I met him last week.
Beckon to me~
Unexpected.
I might have known.
He has no girlfiend.
I told a lie.
What could i say??
I'll be fine soon..
I want be a woman of exceptional ability.
I can make it.

WEDDING~ 2/10-4/10

First time again...

Happiness.

I can felt it through my cousin's wedding~

I saw her happy smiling impression during that wedding.

I felt wana cry...

Don't know its proved happy or sad.

Wish she be happiest woman in this world^^

Pain

Happy.
Did you?
I didnt.
I..
You got a new gf in your life now.

I felt pain today.
i dont know what the matter of me.
I felt damn pain,
I'm trying hard to..
my tears...
What can i say?
NOPE.
Cause however its pain from me,
no one will know it.
Til I sign in facebook and saw it...
Finally i knew why I'm pain on it..
This is my six sense.

But i did one thing is..
appear its nothing for me to everyone include my family.
Don't know how to express my deep impression.
I wonder how describe me now..
I'm speechless.
Its truth.
It is a great sorrow?
....
No one can help me.
I'm the one can help myself.
I need rest for myself.
I'm tiredness.
Sadness.
Sorrow.
Suffering.

SHABU ONE steamboat buffet- FIRST TIME

First time~

First time with my ji mui hang out,

and only once gal (tats me)

Felt good.

Me,mun siong. hong, pan,kean seng and mun kiet.

We go by mun siong's car..

We go eat at near my house there ALIM

haha, really stupid..

Sigh, dont meantion it.
then only go Pavilion to watch GAMER(18 PL).

after we watched, mun siong said want go sing k><

i dont want= =

finally we go LOT 10 eat steamboat haha

Normal price is RM52++

but we only need pay RM 19.80nett

so good~

so late only go back.

Still the same?

外表的我很好吧。
或许在别人的眼中我已经没事了吧。
把所有的一切收在心里真的很辛苦。
没有人会知道。
以为自己没事的我，
原来不是。
记得前天和朋友聊天，
仿佛就好像在跟他聊天一样，
我和朋友聊天既然把他当作是他，
还叫他的名字了。
How come this be?

Mid valley- Shopping day XD

Yeah! Last week can't go Mid Valley cause sick==
This week can go already YO!

About 9-10am i woke up..
Preparing~
Around twelve we reached there.
No eat anything straight go shopping==
Long time no go there for Shopping.
My Friend said you sure can't buy anything at here.
O.o
We were finding where to have our lunch hmm...
We decided have lunch at Restaurant Kim Gary,
But I saw my secondary school's frenz~ ( include ex-bf)==

Unexpected.
Thought that won't saw anyone but==''
But happy also can saw them.
Nevermind then.
We go Madam's Kwan there to have our lunch.
I order chicken chop.
Unexpected too. It too ''large'' for me><'' But not bad. Delicious~ After had our lunch, we just walk walk and walk~ to midvalley ~ to The Garden~ OMG== Still bought nothing. Dont know what's the matter of us.. We determined to change our shopping place! Pavilion~ Sigh T_T Still bought nothing at all!!! Argh@@ How come this be? Haha But my friend introduce her Friend to me who work at Pavilion. Name LEmon~ O.o He is so Funny=) Although bought nothing but recognize friend again hmm.. not bad too.

Yum Cha ~

I gotta Feeling~ ~ Damn happy=)

Cyndi and me day haha xD - 7/9/09

Haha! Damn happy can meet my frenz ^^

We go shopping after work,

haha buy so many things,

So heavy==

很久没试这种感觉了，

很好。

太好了。真得很开心能见到她 =）

Thanks my frenz!

MY frenz sketch it.

^^

Scienz~

Today so bored,

nothing to do,

only take some photo ==

my panda eyes getting bigger><''

Yeah! Later go for dinner.

Its time to preparing...

One month- Day 31

已经一个月了，
时间过得真快。
Argh!!!
so bad!
Now only i get ill==
Can't go Mid valley,
Long time no go there take a walk already,
never go The Garden also.
sigh,
why sick?

Nevermind then.
Next week can go out meet my frenz
sure busy next week.
Haha^^ so happy,
can't wait already!
Went learn car today,
Wah...
wt..
so hot day only go learn ><
learn many time already also like that,
How this can be?
Wenesday test,
still can't?
sure die (fail)..
I MUST GAMBATEH!!!
i want drive!
be assertive!

MVEC (29/8-31-8) - Day27

So good work this three days.
No take photo = =
Forgot already!
but..
still the same.

almost one month already,
I'm still struggling,
missing him...
Everyday thinking of him,
bout him...
although busy working.
Why!
really no one can help me?

really miss him,
hope to see him.
but i cant.
today,
he is starting his new's life of college.
And me?
I really dont know what should i do.

I am stupid!! -Day 22

Now only i know!

HE WAS PLAYING ME!!!!

Finally i knew the answer,
he is a playboy,
i'm damn stupid,
why!
why i believed him...
why dont i listen to my frenz??
why??
Now i get hurt from him.
My frenz care me,
but what've i done to them?
nothing.
and get hurt...
everything is his scheme.
I'm reAlly so hurt T_T

who can help me?
so tireddd...

Without you -Day 21

Sigh,
why everyday also bored,
nothing to do at office today = =
how come nothing to do!
doing nothing make me...
keep...
keep...
thinking...
and thinking,
memorize our sweet moment,
our promises.

Can't see you,
i was so missed you,
while saw you,
i felt pain.
How are you now?
everthing fine?
No. everyday fine of you.
You're going to start you new life of college.

I dont know what can or should i do when missing you,
I... really missed you.
Felt wana cry,
but cant cry it out at all,
just felt so tired of my heart,
and pain.
How much time i need?
No one will know.

I'm being tougher- Day 20

Twenty day passed...
so fast..
I'm still missing you,
did you know?
NO,
you dont know.

You are so happy everyday,
only me are still missing.
work work and work,
not tired at all also,
although got work.
that why i need to fill up all my time to work,
play,
shopping,
do more exercise
and others.
You had change everything,
change other college,
change your lifestyle,
change your style,
your look,
and your treat.
I am to be tougher,
can't cry.
+oil !

自由天- Day 17

总于尝试到一个人走街的感觉了，
以前一直都没机会，
一个人走街的感觉真得很不错嘛。
见回很久没见的朋友，
很开心。

唉，
走了一整天，
结果什么都没买到，
打算买东西的，
却没买到==
算了，
明天去卖！
虽然什么都没买到，
可是让我了解到一个人没什么不好，
没有害怕，
没有担心，
太好了^^

爱情不是代表一切，
即使没有了，
还有家人，
朋友，
事业，
学业，
还有自由。
我总于可以做我想做的事情了。
=）

WHY -Day 14

今天是第一天工作，
不是很害怕，
而是很闷。

你...
为什么要变回以前呢，
难道这就是你？
还是在打发你的时间呢？
真的有那么讨厌我吗？
把一切都改变了，
为了彻底忘记吗？
或许想要重头开始你的新生活吧。
知道你是看得开的人，
可是...
留下我们的回忆不可以吗？
这么不值得留念吗？
到底是为什么？

Omg!
what am i doin'?
why i keep thinking bout our pass?
why i still can't forget it?
why why why!
ya,
I'm no more crying for it ,
but my mind..
MY HEART REALLY TIRED!
although i no more crying,
but my heart is bleeding..
non-stop...
who can help me?
no one can help me,
only me can help myself...

only one person knew what my feeling,
he was suffering of it before...
wuwu...

骗不了自己- Day 13

下雨了，
还记得雨天吗？
一起在雨天过马路，
手牵着手，
你还记得吗？

还记得雨天时？
望着那天空，
对你的想念，
不受控制的眼泪，
想起如何才可以在一起，
经过种种的考验，
我们的承诺，
我们的约定，
我们的甜蜜，
我们的快乐，
我们的悲伤。

骗不了自己，
真得很想你很想你，
而你呢？
开始过着你开心自由的日子吧？
说好的幸福呢？
你告诉我，
无论如何都不要分开，
无论将来会发生什么事都好，
都不可以离开对方，
怎么你把我丢下呢？
丢下我去过你想要的生活呢？
你只想要你的生活而已吗？
我呢？
有为我想过吗？
又想过我会怎样吗？
你怎么那么自私呢？
还可以无忧的过好你的生活。

不过我知道离开了，
你不再会痛苦，
更不会辛苦，
你的笑容也出现了，
是我跟你一起是从不出现过，
也好，
至少你不会再辛苦了，
虽然不在一起，
还是朋友，
我可以看到你的笑容。
记得跟你说过对不起，
因为我失去了快乐，
现在还你自由了，
放手让你去寻找你得快乐，
希望你过的好过快乐，
我就安慰了。
你告诉我爱你的话，
就还你自由，
我做到了...
我爱你

Breathless- Day 12

Finally,
i changed my phone number alreadly,
my dearest told me it meant to start a new life for me.
Finally,
i found a job.
Its time to get busy.

I knew that although how i busy,
i'll still missing you.
You'll always be inside my heart,
i hope that i have a place in your heart too,
but.. its hard i knew,
now and forever you're still the one,
you are always gonna be my love.
I know that there's no one left to see,
all the hurt that's inside me and the reason that i need,
i need to let go of the things i see that have always let me fall.
I dont understand what happened between you and me,
you will probably end up with someone half as good as me.

Breathless

Shayne ward

If our love was a fairy tale

I would charge in and rescue you

On a yacht baby we would sail

To an island where we'd say i do

And if we had babies they would like you

it'd be so beautiful if that came true

you dont even know how very special you are

you leave me breathless

you're everything good in my life

I still cant believed that you're mine

you just walked out of one of my dreams

so beautiful you're leaving me

breathless

If our love like a story book

we would meet on the very first page

the last chapter would be about

how i'm thankful for the life we've made

I only hope that i'll one day deserve what you've given

But all i can do is try

everyday of my life

The struggles I'm facing - Day 11

爱你就是在折磨我自己，
我不停的努力挣扎着，
希望可以走出来。
想念是痛苦的，
不停地想念却什么都做不到，
让人无法专心的做东西，
满脑子都是对方，
不停让你回想过去开心的日子。

Someone told me that he not the one who really love me,
he is the person who gave me experienced to me ,
and grow me up only.
He told me that i am lucky,
at least i didn't cry again,
no more crying for him.
He keep courage me that be optimistic,
pessimistic wouldn't work out,
it just brought me to wrong path,
be tough.
Everything was over,
it is history,
just a memory,
or an experience for me.
I have to move on for my future.
Its time to end for a better life,
there is someone else who is really fit me.
If i am busy enough,
he won't be on your mind,
just let myself stay in comfort,
keep doin' whats make me feel good.
I knew that something is can't explain and no for his leaving,
eventhough i love him,
its also useless.
All i need is time,
Its time that i learned to face up to this on my own.

National service's life

flying fox!!

gangster yo~

haha i take sijil lo

crazy them hah..

this my bb ya>>

all of us crazy yo!

im too smaller==

haha... memang gila my frenz~

haha..

so lang shi..

this cutie malay gal is smaller than me ,haha im nt the most small at there ><

haha...

all crazy alreadly..

this is 2nd mama

haha...>>>

this malay guy so big ar@@ i need to stand on chair oni can take photo wif him haha...

haha.. All black shirt

跟我朋友分享一下我开心的日子吧...

在当兵的这三个月做过什么呢？

看看就知道了。